Order of Phoenix, original copy
by Fizz
Summary: formatted Now- about a little bird on a big power trip, and a lot of confused characters


All the characters belong to J.K Rowling.   
  
One day Harry was walking along, he had been at the dursleys all summer, nothing had happened he had hopped on the train and came to Hogwarts. So it had been pretty uneventful, he didn't even have a fight with the dursley's about going to the weasley's because Dumbledore had forbidden him to go. So now he was back and he was bored. So he was walking along when he was knocked down by a fiery bird. It was a phoenix!   
"AGGH, Fawkes, stay away from me, you smell!" Harry cried.  
Fawkes was extremely offended so he thought to himself.   
'HMM what will annoy Harry?'   
Why don't I order him to get me something and make it sounds really important so he'll be really busy and can't spend time ogling Hermione in the girls bathroom? Fawkes thought this was a great idea.   
"Get me a burger and Fries from Maccas," Fawkes cried. However that didn't sound right to Fawkes, he was hungry but a food order didn't sound hard enough. "What? Macca's? OK, I guess."   
Harry flew off and Fawkes was left to think of a harder task for Harry.   
'I am so evil' though Fawkes. He liked to think of himself as sly and cunning and  
debonair. However (though he'd never admit it), the sorting hat, his long time friend, had put him in Hufflepuff.   
His only claim to fame was being Dumbledore's bird. That still made Harry listen to him though! Mwhahahahahahahahaha.   
So he went and sat in Dumbledores office and looked sulky because no inspiration was coming.   
Just then Dumbledore swept in followed by a pale boy with plastic ken doll hair. "Draco , I see you started the year with a bad start. Using Crucio on Ronald Weasley wasn't very nice. Not nice at all. You are a bad boy."   
Draco snorted, "What are you going to do about it, old man?"   
Dumbledore burst into tears.   
"I wish everyone would just stop pushing me around!" he cried.   
Fawkes was amazed, usually Dumbledore was reduced to tears after the student left his office.   
Sometimes McGonagall acted as Principal using a polyjuice potion because of Dumbledore being, well….mentally unstable.   
Not very nice, thought Fawkes. Obviously the boy was amazed at the headmaster's tears. Fawkes got upset at seeing his beloved Dumbledore so upset and started to cry. Unfortunately some of his tears went flying across the room and hit blondie.   
His hair suddenly popped out , all traces of gel gone. His smooth silky locks puffed all around his head and his pale ness was suddenly mysterious and strangely attractive. He grew up to a metre taller, gained some muscles and …that's when Fawkes   
realised. His tears had made the boy into…fanon DRACO.   
"Thanks bird," the boy said arrogantly.   
Fawkes wasn't really very good with comebacks.   
"I didn't mean to do that you…big head thing."   
"I can't be bothered thinking up an answer to that pathetic statement but you can pretend I said something witty and arrogant."   
Draco proceeded to pose and purse his lips doing "the look".   
Dumbledore, who had just recovered fro his short mental breakdown, gasped! "What a wonderful look!"   
"Thankyou, I call it 'MAGNUM!"   
He did "the look" again and Dumbledore was reduced to his knees.   
Fawkes hated it when Dumbledore paid attention to anything but him.   
So he decided to send Draco on a mission.   
"I order you to go on a mission!"   
"I'm not really sure why I would listen to a bird and go on a mission for no particular reason but I am strangely compelled to listen to and do what you tell me to," Draco replied.   
"I have strange hypnotic powers," Fawkes explained.   
"Really?"   
"I dunno, I might, it's possible, you never know I guess, I mean sometimes I think I have bulimia, you know, when you can read minds."   
"Isn't that ESP?"   
"Don't argue just listen."   
At that moment Harry returned with Fawke's burger.   
"Who's that?" said Harry indicating Draco.   
"It's me Malfoy, HA! I'm big you're small, I'm smart you're dumb, I have a special look and you don't!"   
Draco did Magnum.   
"Don't make that kissy lips, girl look at me." Harry cried.   
Parvati and Lavender walked into Dumbledores office, they were scheduled to plait his beard.   
They saw Draco and fainted in shock at the wonderful look.   
"Honestly can't you tell he's just screwing up his face and making fish lips at everyone?" Harry asked.   
No one could and Harry sat on the ground and looked grumpy because he was till scrawny with glasses.   
Fawkes started crying because Harry had gotten him a Mc Chicken instead of a Big Mac, Amazingly Harry got hit with some tears and was suddenly as good looking as a male model.   
"Oh MY GOD! I am incredibly really really really really good looking!" Harry cried. "Well you still have glasses and that makes you a big fat dorkface." Draco cried "I'm not fat, it's these robes!" Harry whined.   
That's when Fawkes had some inspiration……..  
  
Read, Review, flame. 


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